He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
