dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I looked at my own cervix.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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