Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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