I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw a hot homeless man
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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