I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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