i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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