he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Operation Purity has been aborted
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
