dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
