Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
