no, he came in my armpit
I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize