question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
only if we run a train.
done.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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