Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
