Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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