The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
