We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You pole danced in your parka.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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