Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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