kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
