with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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