i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
