I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
