you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
