how can u be prego again
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
