I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize