I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
