i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
