So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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