I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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