I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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