put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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