1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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