dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
