Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
