I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
