Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
