So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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