I think my fart just growled at me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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