you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
