Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When did angry sex become our thing?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
