i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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