girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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