I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
