I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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