i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
