so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize