he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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