no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
