And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
