but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
