Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
