I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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