I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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