I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
