Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Drake has all the answers
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
