You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
