Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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