If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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