Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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