It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
third nipple confirmed
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
